take me back to the sea
to the warm waves rushing below us
where the sun shines in
and the hours are days
and everything is
nothing but lovely

dream story

I know this is far-fetched, but one day you might see it on a silver screen..

When I fell asleep last night, I awoke in a new bed. I lived in a new home, with a new family. Don't laugh when I say this, but it turns out the new family just happened to be the Partridge Family. I don't know much about them -- for I never viewed their show -- but I can tell you that I got to know them quite well and spent several dream-hours singing with them and performing at a dead Roadhouse in the empty South.
So, as it turned out, the reason they stopped performing before was that the devil (yes, Lucifer, Satan, whatever you have named him) was after them. Well, I could have told them right then and there that the Devil is probably a man that doesn't give up easily, and of course he was back after not too long. After days of dark corners, empty eyes from friends, and eerie feelings, He arrived. We tried not to notice, but then the dog started getting...well, sick. My head is blurry from the sun now, so I am leaving out bits and pieces, but the next thing I remember is standing in the driveway with my family looking at the dog and at the Dark Lord (He requested we call him). It was then learned that the dog was not in fact sick, but carrying the unborn child of the Devil himself. What happened next is beyond me. Maybe I began to lucid dream, and became aware of my abilities, or maybe this is just how my imagination decided to solve things; I stepped forward. The boys were crying. They kept saying,"Not our Buddy, not our friend". The dog looked as if he might die soon, and my heart bled for him. The look in his big brown eyes was so confused and painful. The destruction of innocence. The death of a family member. I stepped forward once more. "Stop," was more of a request than a demand as it left my lips. The Devil lifted his dark burning eyes to mine and waited for me to say more. My face turned white and I spoke again, "Take me instead". Instantly, I felt a fiery energy burn through my spine and my stomach. I didn't have to ask twice. "You will love it," He sneered with a twisted, cut-glass grin. "Will it hurt.. when it comes?"
"You will die."

Blackout.

Hours, maybe days later, I find myself looking for you (you know who you are). I want to find you, tell you I'm dying, try to explain my ridiculous situation; Tell you I love you. I'm so afraid you will not know. I'm so afraid to die alone -- the pain I can stand -- but alone, with no soft eyes or hands to comfort me? A death could not be worse.

Then, I woke up. In my own bed. In New York. Still alone.

alkali water.
a burning throat.
one.
goes.
down.
stand in horror
or keep wander-
ing the world for pardon

Riah!

Child of Sin

keeping with your wild ways

pretending the wind doesn't change

your mind every time

the leaves turn left or right

you fill me as the ocean sates the shores

and i thirst accordingly for your depths

you are Odin and i Frigg

war and beauty

poetry unleashed

united

streaked with storms that mean strength

and battle-wounds and heat

You crawl up my spine and lure me into my brain
Where you take off the sheets that I’m seizing in sleep

Stained hands are musical tracing my inner thigh
Using my breath as fuel
Turning my eyes around and above
And inviting me into a forbidden shadowy wonderland
With trees of skin
Lips fall on all inches
And it’s so good you can hardly bear it - Oh
But Oh

Don’t let it stop!

NIGHTMARE

click

the door closed

and soft hands became bricks
alone in a room and unwelcome
with tears on my smeared cheek

the floor was suddenly too close
and it set fire to my skin like slackened frail paper
and chewed on my bones
but they did not fight back

his breath was poison
and deadly snakebite hands held my voice
and grew small
but the eyes

oh the eyes were a million miles worse

he reminded me of my darker than death sins
spit on my face
baptized me
helped me wash them away
while the palms i once worshiped felt cold
and left art across the base of my jaw

he could not conceal her from the world
but concealer must do for now

the night was war

and the sun rose red

******************

I lose my breath again to you.

Once more, I am caught off my feet with my eyes closed

and our skins begin to burn themselves

though the warning signs are bright.

You have taken hold of me.

Captured my fancy thoughts and reserved the lines in my journal.

Let the stars be enraged.

I don't very much care what they have to say.

Where did the lines go telling me which way was up?
I can only see down from this stone tower
to the black crowded seas.
The noise is just noise.

I am powerless, comfortable
on the road I was handed.

But then the air turned
and a whisper through a line
crossed with thousands more
spoke my name
taking me back to the sea
and the chaos and a smile that wont fade.

burning quote from a lovely show

"Before the beginning, after the great war between heaven and hell, God created the Earth and gave dominion over it to the crafty ape he called man... and to each generation was born a creature of light and a creature of darkness... and great armies clashed by night in the ancient war between good and evil. There was magic then. Nobility. And unimaginable cruelty. And so it was until the day that a false sun exploded over Trinity, and man forever traded away wonder for reason."

You undying ghost, the sample of my fluid loneliness
drifting in and through the blue darkess behind my eyes

-be gone and stay far.

a homecoming

With my anger aside and my future in view, I spent many nights counting my options and feeling my way through the dark. Education won once more and I resolved to return to my life with a new and familiar start.

I am enrolled in a poetry class which I have come to delight in and find blood warming and electric. I read the words like a snake charmer and follow their movements. One catches my breath:

SOUS - ENTENDU by Anne Stevenson

Don't think

that I don't know
that as you talk to me
the hand of your mind
is inconspicuously
taking off my stocking,
moving in resourceful blindness
up along my thigh.

Don't think
that I don't know
that you know
everything I say
is a garment.